Sunday, January 09, 2005 @10:52 AM
had a dream last night. woke up feeling very sad. dreamt tt i went to KL. while staying in the hotel, i realised tt my hotel neightbour is rudy. i dunno y i dreamt of him anyway. anyway he told me tt he still likes me and stuff.. ya.. and we sorta meet up. in the dream, i was also with dear too. however, dear was quite ok with me meeting him. ya. and rudy sorta hinted to me tt he wishes that we could be back together. i did not give him an answer in the dream. suddenly, me, dear, this girl (a stranger) rudy and his gf were walking on this road. i saw dear and this stranger very close. as in they were holding hands and whispering into each other's ears. ya. ahead of them were rudy and his gf. seeing dear and tt girl being so intimate, i ran. for some peculiar reason, i was barefooted. while i was running, i step onto a large shard of broken glass. but the person who came to help me was rudy. ya. the next scene was at the hotel where rudy told dear he wanted to meet him at his room. i went before dear did and somehow or another, rudy turned into louis khoo. lol.. shuai shi wo le!! as in rudy has louis khoo looks and bod. hahaha.. ya.. then louis khoo said he wants to be with me!! ok. tt's the end of the dream. i dunno y, but i just woke up feeling very disoriented and fan. (pls dun imagine things when u read this dear)
anyway, went to kailing's condo to celebrate her birthday yesterday. went to buy her birthday pressie earlier. dear then told me we would be sharing the pressie with eli and brenda as well. tt's on top of yuehong, alex chia, kel and gel. i was upset tt dear agreed before telling me. not tt he needs my permission or wat, but the pressie was my idea. in addition, kailing also nv include eli's share lor. tt just goes to show how small and insignificant tt bitch is. dun ask me y i hate her. i just do. actually also is not dear's fault. coz i was the one who asked him to find more pple to share the pressie so at least each individual would not have to pay so muz. ya. i also didnt tell him who to reject mahz. blame it on miscommunication bahz. i was fuming and so didnt talk to dear on the journey to town. while waiting for gel and kel i also didnt talk to him or even acknowledge his presence. i seriously dun feel bad coz i dun think i was at fault in the first place. i tot tt he might give in to me but he didnt. it's been a long time since he gave in to me anyway. bleahz~ in the end i gave in lor. no point spoiling the whole day's mood. but this incident made me realised tt i like to be control of my relationship. i dun like people to tell me when to shit, wat to eat or whatever. in a nutshell, i shud be the one giving directions in the relationship. step across the boundary and you are dead. at the sme time, i like to feel protected and well-taken care of. i want a guy who will stand on my side even when i'm wrong. dun give me logic. my ears automatically reject any frequencies of logic sound. i want a guy to take care of me when i'm sick. even if it's just a small scratch on my skin, i expect him to make a big fuss out of it too. bring me to doc when i'm sick. buy medicine when i'm sick. stand up for me when people bullies me, regardless of the bully's gender. even if it's a girl who bullied me, i expect my guy to just punch her in the stomach as well. i expect my guy to also be romantic. give me surprises. my guy shud not be a pushover. shud be one who is firm and assertive. if not how can he fit in the bill of my gallant shining prince in armour if he's just forever whiny and weak. anyway, forgot to tell u guys tt we bought a vibrator for kailing. lol. for the benefit of people who dunno wat it is, it's just a substitution for a male human being's penis.
the E1 people who turned up are kenglim, ruihang, xi gua, kimpern, audrey, shilin, jinglei, me, dear and kel. the party was quite grand i must say. there are really alot alot of people. the food was good too. we got down to playing balckjack after eating. it was kind of fun coz i think no one really took it seriously. it was all in the name of fun. ruihang got this unbrella and he kept poking people with it! he looks like tweenty bird's ah ma. lol.. he still looks like a small kid and he's nice and he's single!! towards the end of the party, kailing invited us to vodka sprite. think it proved too muz for kimpern. he drank till his whole face was red! ya. before leaving we planned a CNY gathering to mdm chao's place. Hope to catch up with them soon..
♥ -Dollicious-Sinner-