Thursday, August 26, 2004 @8:38 AM
Sighz.. was reading 8-days just now and read abt women who looked great at 40.. formula is happiness.. lol.. but it's just so hard to be in singapore.. stress is all ard.. lol.. was lying on bed lazing when i started reflecting abt myself.. i realised tt perhaps i'm really not very big-hearted.. i take comments too seriously sometimes and tend to stress over the smallest stuff sometimes.. i also do not give pple the benefit of doubt.. so maybe tt's y sometimes i'm such a sour person.. yucks.. think it's time for a revamp man.. i need to change.. i need to grab hold of all my happiness!! from now on, i'm gg to take things with a pinch of salt.. i shud try to trust more pple and be more kind-hearted.. lol.. i feel tt i'm v kind-hearted thou.. poor darling always have to put up with all my unreasonable comments.. but luckily he's able to take it.. lol.. if not i'll pinch him!! u shud not be so narrow-minded too.. but sometimes only k.. in certain aspects i feel i'm more open minded than my frinds.. haha..
right now xinyu is in suntec with daniel.. paiseh ah.. not i dun want go but stuck with my acc tut.. have to discuss tmr.. piangz.. all the qn are so damn bl**dy hard lor.. i've already used up all my brain cells.. hopefully gel can make it.. heehee.. actually i as comtemplating to go.. but then i decide to give xinyu this chance to "click' with daniel.. hopefully something will work out and she will find herself a person to rely on.. she really deserves it.. she's such a best friend!! pls dun scold me xinyu!! thou she sounded sianz when she called me i hope she's enjoying herself this very minute.. ok.. gtg le.. *cheers to happiness*
♥ -Dollicious-Sinner-
Tuesday, August 24, 2004 @3:58 AM
I damn hate that fu*king biz com!! i hate it i hate it and i hate it!! no regrtas for wat i've just said.. to me, i think it's just bullshit! PLAIN BULLSHIT!! what's up with all those damn presentations? what's up with people in this fu*cking world? do u really think pple really listens to u? do u really think pple can remember everything u've said? well, if u do, DREAM ON!! Coz seriously speaking, i dun listen to what u pple have to say or present. u think u can just change my mindset with just a few lame useless stories? DREAM ON!! In short, I HATE UNI LIFE!! I hate the cirriculums!! I HATE EVERYTHING THERE!!
♥ -Dollicious-Sinner-
Friday, August 20, 2004 @8:38 AM
Just watched The Stepford Wives with my darling yest.. it really as quiite a hilarious show.. but quite draggy.. been wanting to watch it.. but somehow after watching it, i feel a tinge of disappointment.. it's just not up to expectations.. however if u have extra cash to burn...... been trying to finish all my damn readings this last week or so.. however the wkload just seem to be increasing and increasing and increasing.. damn.. r we robots or wat?? feel so damn sianz when i think of how many more readings i have to do.. somemore dunno for wat peculiar reasons i've been waking up early.. yet the time spent reading proved to be so furtile.. i just cant absorb anything and end up reading the same paragraph over and over again.. efficiency=0%.. sad.. later gg to play mahjong with kel and gel again.. haha.. we 4 gamblers.. hope this time wun lose so muz anymore.. darling now is in labrador park running 10k.. haha.. he's so sweet.. so tired yet still agreed to play mahjong.. but then.. maybe he's more addicted to mahjong than i am.. so maybe he wun mind.. lol.. somemore even if we r not playing mahjong today, he still has to acc me mahz.. he bought a cap from nike for me yest.. so sweet.. treated me to sushi too.. but urgh.. i dun really like sushi.. it just tastes so cold.. i need something hot for all my meals.. if ot i just wun feel satisfied.. hee.. must be all the homecooked meals.. in additional, i dun even know how to appreciate salmon.. it just taste so fishy... lol.. so raw.. urgh.... anyway, ended up with tempura ramen.. darling is just so wonderful to me.. i want wat he just buy for me... just like the dirty dancing2 vcd, the r&b cd, the stationeries i bought just coz i feel boliao.. i'm really the luckiest girl on this earth... awwww... lol...
♥ -Dollicious-Sinner-
@7:04 AM
was taking bus 180 to jp when i passed lakeside mrt station.. tot of the days when i was in odac.. running all the way to tt overhead bridge and climbing up the 25 storeys high building with tt damn 6 kg in my bag.. but most imptly of all, i miss Pjc Life!! I totally miss janice, christine, daphne and even xiaofen.. sigh.. gone were those days of bitchiness, the crazy moments where me n jan will just make stupid comments and laugh till we cried.. still remembered her making the joke abt trophy joke.. it was damn mean but only we 2 know abt it.. LOL.. miss the days where we studied together esp near a levels.. where me, jan, kk, daniel, daphne will study together in the library till the library closed.. where we often went to the coffeeshops nearby to eat.. where there's this time we da pao long john back to sch to eat and switched the channel to zhen qin.. haha.. auntie show.. argh.. miss u guys so so damn muz!! uni life is just so diff.. everybody is practically so into their own lifes, studies and grades!! it's just so damn bl**dy competitive that friends no longer existed.. topics revolve abt studies, studies and studies.. my life is definitely muz more than tt!!! y is singapore so meritcractic??(is this how u spelled it anyway) what's up with all those damn bl**dy certs? to prove how well u can read? to prove how well u can study but practically no social life? damn! i hate this life.. i want to be free!! sighz.. if only u guys are in the same uni as me!! we can have so damn muz fun!! daphne is not even in nbs.. it's so hard to bump into her!! sigh.. will defintely do anything to turn back the hands of time to pj life.. that's where i made muz more friends with the same degree of madness as me.. thou our friendship isnt exactly smooth-sailing but tt's wat friendship shud be abt.. miss those days where jan told me she's proud of me, her lame jokes, her corniness, her brunt comments.. miss christine where we always go shopping together, talk abt our relationships and fashion tips.. miss xiaofen with her ello, her ever so cute voice.. miss daphne with her ever down-to-earth talk and her presence.. she does not need to speak but she's one friend u know who will always be there for u.. miss kk for his perpetual comment, "qu si lor" so muz so it became our kou tou chang.. miss daniel for his suaning pple character.. his ever there presence.. in fact i just called him today.. it just feel so relieved to know friends are still there and care for u thou it's been some time since we last contact.. msged christine and jan too.. was very happy to hear from them.. to know they still remember me.. haha.. they are friends who definitely will remain close to my heart till the day i die.. sighz.. hope we guys will catch up soon..
♥ -Dollicious-Sinner-
Sunday, August 15, 2004 @11:49 PM
Just came back from Kelvin's place.. wah.. lost so much money man.. but it's ok lar.. at least we had fun and of coz we won $20 from them just yest too!! heehee.. Darling just went back to camp.. starting to miss him so so muz.. he really is the bestest thing in my life.. even before we meet to go ke;vin's place he went to orchard to buy this project shop bag tt i really like.. so sweet!! i really love him so so muz.. every minute i spent with him is just so perfect.. we rarely quarralled when we r with each other.. yet when out of sight i'll become more short-temper.. my darling is really the bestest darling.. i know tt everything he does it's all becozof me.. i come before his evry priorities, his happiness his everything.. i know he will definitely give up everything just to see me smile.. i really dunno wat i'll be without him.. however i feel tt i'm more selfish.. somehow i put myself first sometimes.. i wish i can be as wei da as my darling.. but i really feel tt i've changed.. of coz it's for the better.. as in i've become more tolerant and not as demanding as before and has try my best to control my temper tt always goes out of hand.. on top of that i've tried to be more accomodating to my darling's feelings.. thou i'm not always successful in controlling my temper, my darling has been really wonderful in terms of understanding y i feel the way i do.. right now we r saving up for our wedding when we are 26, 27 years old.. yupz.. thou we've been together for likde 7 months le bu everything just feel so right with him.. he is really really very diff from all my past relationship.. everything just feel so perfect and natural with him.. i can be myself in front of him with no need for any pretences.. i can burp, scold vulgur sometimes, condemn pple, he will still smile at my xiao jie qi.. god.. i really love him so so so much!! alrighty.. think tt's abt it for today.. gtg do my damn memo liao.. night~!
♥ -Dollicious-Sinner-
Saturday, August 14, 2004 @11:36 AM
so mad at my dearie now.. dun understand y is it tt he can never tell me straight in the face abt wat he is unhappy abt.. y muz only at night when he's gg to sleep le then can say?! He nv seems to communicate with me one lor.. telling his friends more things than me!! really QI SHI WO LE!!!! Dun understand y he got so upset over the pics i posted in friendster lor.. wat's wrong? i think it's my right lor.. i just find it very hard to think on his side coz when i showed him the photos the other day he also nv say anything mahz!! Then now come show me black face and stuff.. i really hate it when pple is unhappy with me and when i asked them they just refused to say anything and then later come tell u lor.. so pissed!! I will feel super super exasperated one lor.. dear i hope u understand how i feel if u ever read this lor.. i've always told u tt relationship can nv be one-sided.. it's abt communications!! So can u pls open tt golden mouth of urs if u really want us to last?! u want to drive me to my grave is it?! i dun want sms u now coz i'm really damn angry at u..i dunno wat i'll say and i dun want to hurt u with the wrong things i'll say.. i'm angry partly coz of the pics but mostly at the fact tt u always refused to tell me how u feel!!!! u think i got supernatural powers can read ur mind mehz?! Somemore this is not the 1st time i told u i want us to communicate to communicate!!! i do hope u can change lor.. *argh*
Sigh.. suddenly think of how muz i love my darling i also feel a bit bad.. i mean he's forever putting me b4 him and yet i'm here scolding him.. pple.. pls dun always believe wat i wrote here.. esp when i'm angry or despondent for there's such a thing called external attribution.. *heehee* anyway i'm still angry.. he threw a tantrum 1st so i'm nt gg to care.. i'm angry and scolding him right here but tt does not mean i love him any lesser.. in fact when we made up i'll only love him more..sighz *i love u darling* (pls dun be angry after u read this, these r my truest sentiments)
♥ -Dollicious-Sinner-
@9:34 AM
feel so exasperated lor.. i really dunno wat my darling wants from me.. pple always said girls are hard to fathom but i think guys are the same unpredictable creatures too!! he wants me to remove the pics i removed le lor.. i mean i can understand his rationale for wanting me to remove the pics but i apologised le he still like fu*k care me.. later still got to play mahjong with gel n kel lor.. we 2 like tt will make the atmosphere very off lor.. dun understand wat he wants from me man.. i have enough le! y shud i continue to give in to him when he does not even appreciate it!? He wants angry then let him be! for all i know he's thinking abt tt dunno who or even other girls! Maybe he's even comparing! He's just being PETTY PETTY PETTY!! I hate him!!
♥ -Dollicious-Sinner-