These few days have been a rollercoaster ride for me and dear. For those who dont know, we decided to split up for a few days to really think through if we are still meant for each other. Somehow, our relationship became more like that between friends. The sparkles, with time, sizzle out quietly without any of us noticing it. Somewhat, our relationship has become too stable, to the extent that we dont quarral anymore. The impetus to our temporary breakup was this guy who was interested in me. It's not like he is a third party or anything, just that he's like a wake-up call to me that it's time that me and dear should start thinking whether we are each other's ideal partner or are we together for the sake of being together. additioanally, if we want to stay together for a long time, it's time we should be doing something to spice up our relationship. To cut the whole story short, we decided to get back together and try to work things out. It was undoubtedly a painful road to recovery, we can just quarral everynight when we dont even quarral anymore before the breakup. Gradually, things begin to fall in place again. I could see the efforts he has been exerting and I really appreciate it.. However, from this incident, I realised that there really is no such thing as a guaranteed forever in a relationship, no matter how deep your feelings for each other may be.
Before i proceed, I think i should put a disclaimer that this are purely my personal opinions and not a generalisation of te girls out there. I was talking to a friend the other day. It's always an enlightenment talking to him coz he seen more things in life in comparison to us, though we are of the same age. He was asking me if i will choose love or bread. I answered immediately, without batting an eyelid, bread. I think maybe he's a little disappointed in my reply. But tt's the truth. I mean, I'm still young, there's a long way ahead of me, perhaps then when i get married it's out of love to a poor man. I dunno, but tt's my stance so far. Maybe I'm just very used to leading a lifestyle where I'll definitely get what i want. My parents are doting parents who always satisfy all my unnecessary wants, especially my mum. Since young, i have also never lifted a finger to help out with the housework since i always have a maid. I just find leading a life less than that would be sad and hard.. People who knows me often commented that I'm a person who is too realistic and materialistic. However I dont think i should be faulted for being so coz it's all about personal expectations. . I dont really want to go deeply into what i have to say coz i think my thinkings are rather extreme and I dont want to hurt anyone who might be mistaken..
Whatever it is, wish u guys a happy CHINESE NEW YEAR!!
♥ -Dollicious-Sinner-
Feeling damn irritable now for some reason or another. Cant seem to concentrate on all the bloody readings. It's like they are switches, I get headaches everytime i start to sit down and read. School has only started for like less than a week and I'm alrady wishing that i can get back to work man. School sucks. Hate doing projects with people I dont know. Blame it on this fucking person who goes by the name of Rebacca (or however u spell it. who cares?)
On a totally irrelevant note, got to go Raffles place to get my surveys for FYP done. There's just this mad man who just kept followingme around, insisting that i promote whatever products i'm selling. WTH, do i look like a sales promoter in denim skirt and singlet? When i told me sweetly that this survey wasnt meant for him, he started saying things like i looked down on him just coz he wasnt in office wear. Funniest thing was he claimed he is an audit partner at KPMG and that he got 3 honours that he got in Havard and stuff. Ya right. If he was a partner, i think i would have seen him before man. Stupid old man. Just trying to ride on KPMG's good reputation.
Had a chat with Minyi online yesterday. There we were saying about perfect boyfriend and the perfect husband. We both wanted the perfect boyfriends now that we are young. We both recognise that our boyfriends arent good lovers but would nonetheless make good husbands in the future. As in, decent, stable and someone who would love the family. That brings me to a point that Zan asked me the other day, "Would u rather give up a perfect husband just to get a perfect boyfriend that u dun even know if u might marry?"
♥ -Dollicious-Sinner-
Friendship is like a piece of glass,
Once broken,
Impossible to mend.
I can still remember this crap poem i wrote in my friend's autography book in primary school. I didnt know what exactly this crap means till recently. No doubt it's easy for people to say it takes 10 years to build up trust and 10 seconds to destroy it, these people should nonetheless take a minute to reflect on themselves first. Who destroy whose trust in the first place? I prefer to leave everything as it is coz I know jolly well that no amount of talking, confrontation or whatever have to be said would make things go back to where it once was, a very very long time ago...
To err is human, to forgive is divine. No wonder I'm not God.
♥ -Dollicious-Sinner-
I just realised that my department has a Mr Sexy voice.. To think i tot he was just a slacker since whenever i walked past him, he would be slouching in his chair and replying to his email or msn-ing. Well, i got to interact with him coz he was my first reviewer and he had to correct some of the things tt i did. Hmm.. Let's just say when he talks to me i be totally memerised and cant even absorb any single thing that he said to me. He speaks eng just so perfectly!
Anyway, PA is finally over and I'm so glad! It's time to do CNY shopping!!
Anyway, PA is finally over and I'm so glad! It's time to do CNY shopping!!
♥ -Dollicious-Sinner-
It gets tiring when a person shows concern for u and u cant stop wondering if that person's care is really genuine. Perhaps I should just give the the benefit of doubt, though the person's actions prove otherwise. This might make me a happier person. Alright, that shall be one of my new year's resolution. -To give more people the benefit of doubt- Perhaps some people are really that kind, caring and innocent. I shan think of them as pretentious, plastic or hypocrites.
To sidetrack, i suddenly remember this so called creative psychology test my sister gave me. She asked me to think of the most hateful attribute in a person. I replied arrogance. She told me then that since I hate arrogant people, in reality, i am a rather arrogant person subconsciously. Come to think of it, I am someone who tends to hao lian sometimes lar.. I also dun deny that I am a bit arrogant at times (once in a blue moon) So people, what is the most disgusting and hateful attribute u hate in a person? Is it hypocrisy? Is it unfiliel piety and so on? If it's hypocrisy u choose, perhaps it's time u clam up ur damn bloody mouth and stop continously labelled people plastic and hypocrites and do something about your hypocritical acts. If it's short-temperness, then do something about ur bad temper man.. Hope this simple test will make u understand yourself more..
♥ -Dollicious-Sinner-
What does your handwriting say about YOU?
The results of your analysis say:
You plan ahead, and are interested in beauty, design, outward appearance, and symmetry.
You are a shy, idealistic person who does not find it easy to have relationships, especially intimate ones.
You are negative, fearful, resistant, doubtful, and/or selfish.
You are a talkative person, maybe even a busybody!
You enjoy life in your own way and do not depend on the opinions of others.
♥ -Dollicious-Sinner-
My internship has indeed exposed me to more of the working life. U get to interact with people who are absolutely realistic. Just like this secretary of a director who made no attempt to even try to know our names. We are simply non-existent in her eyes.
Internship at the tax department may nonethess be less stressful compared to the audit department. However, the advent of the peak period has increased our workload and I cant help but feel stressed especially when this particular senior keeps approaching me to help her with some every 5 minutes. I dunno if it's gd or bad. Gd coz perhaps she thinks highly of me. Bad in a sense coz she might just has to torture me.. Luckily, the other interns came to my rescue seeing how "drowned" I am..
Anyway, now that my workload has increased drastically, I began to feel damn stressed. I begin to doubt my ability. I used to think that I am a person who can work well under stress. But this little bit of stress has started to get onto me and I pondered deeply if I'm really suited to the audit field. Kinda feel very very tempted to join the tax department upon graduation. At least the working hours are regular and I have a fixed place to work, or even have a sense of belonging.. Whatever it is, taxi drivers have been telling my friends how good we are when they know we are from KPMG.. hahahaha.. *sense of pride* They said'"I tell all my other taxi driver friends, Hong Leong Building good ones!!" hahahaha..
♥ -Dollicious-Sinner-