Friday, August 31, 2007 @9:42 AM
After the last blog, something happened and I learned why people feel sad at funeral. I dont know about you guys, but I guess it's that sense of helplessness of having to lose someone whom you love dearly. Would like to elaborate more on this, but somehow words have evaded my mind after a day of work.
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I dont know if you guys know this about me - I dream alot. Nope, not in the sense of building sandcastles in the air, but as in dreams that come to me while I was sleeping. Anyway mst of my dreams are extremely powerful and provoking. Most of my dreams never fail to evoke emotions out of me. There was this period of time when I kept dreaming of people dying. Not just strangers, but family members and friends. These are the kind of dreams I hate to have, because I always find myself crying badly when I woke up. Not only do I start crying uncontrollably, I also find myself trying to deal with the fear of losing the people around me. These dreams made me quite distressed and I decided to tell my mum about it. She has since placed an amulet above my bed and removed most of my soft toys.
Recently, the dreams I have are about things that I know are going to happen. For example, my maid who has been working for my fmaily for 7 to 8 years is finally going back to her homeland to get married. Initially, I thought I would feel nothing about her going back. However, that night, i dreamed that the next day is the day when she's finally going back for good. When I woke up, I was actually feeling kind of sad. As such, I realised that I'm going to miss her badly when she's gone! Therefore, I made a resolution to send her to the airport on Sunday morning regardless of how early her flight is and no matter how tired I feel when I wake up on an early Sunday morning.
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Been feeling under the weather for quite some time already. My flu/cold/fever attacks me on a fortnighly basis. Essentially, what I mean is after 2 weeks of recovery, I will fall sick again. After 3 visits to the doctor within 1 month, my doctor on my 3rd visit suggested that perhaps I should do a blood test to determine why I've been falling sick so often. It could be due to my blood count and stuff. So 2 days back when I fell sick, I decided to head to the nearest office clinic near my client's place and take a day off. I have also decided to do a blood-test and thus, I informed the doctor about it. That was after I've told her that I've been falling sick frequently for the past few months. To sum the whole episode briefly, I left the clinic feeling pissed. This was because not only did I fail to do a blood-test, I failed to take a day rest to recover. Below is a highlight of the interesting conversation between me n the doc:-
Doc: hmmm.. I can only deduce 2 main reasons to why you are falling sick so often.
Me: Ok, ya?
Doc: One, you are damn suay. Two, you are damn weak.
Me: ............ (speechless)
I swear these are the exact words she used on me! Following is another highlight:-
Doc: So do u need an MC? Personally, if you asked me, I dont think you are that weak to get an MC. But considering your line of profession, I know you guys feel tired. So if you want me to write you an MC i can do so.
Me: You are the doctor, you decide if I need an MC then.
Doc: Ya, like i said, i dont think you are that weak to get an MC, but if you to rest, I can write you one to cover you for the day.
Me: Fine, then I do not need an MC then.
It's like wtf la! Isnt she like suggesting that I want to chao keng?! TMD! I decided not to get an MC despite feeling feverish because she emphasized many times to me that feeling feverish does not mean I have a fever. A fever is only when your body temperature is above 37.5 degree celscius. In the end, her diagnosis was I have an allergy which I'm so totally not convinced! It's my own body, how can I not know? So she gave me this nasal spray which is meant for sinus and this medicine for me to clear my lungs. Under the advice of my colleague I deicded to give her the benefit of doubt. However, not only do I not feel any better after taking the medicine, my hands began to tremble. I have since stopped taking the medicine and shall be seeking a second opinion come tomorrow morning! Just so damn pissed! urgh!