Monday, October 09, 2006 @8:43 AM
I feel as though weights are added to my feet with each passing day. Somehow, my feet gets heavier every morning and I have to drag my feet to work. On top of that, I have a feeling that if someone were to tap me on my shoulders from behind, I might just break down and cry. Yes, that's how tightly wind-up I am! I wonder if it's because I have too high expectations of myself, or is it because I'm getting increasingly paranoid. I'm perpetually thinking and believing that people are judging your performance everywhere. It doesnt help that my first client was damn "branded". People just have higher expectations of you for some reason despite the same job nature. :(
Lunchtime is analogous to happy hour. That's the time I get to complain with food in my mouth, and nobody will care because all my colleagues are doing the same thing. Lunchtime has literally become a verbal competition amongst us where we start to compare who has the shittiest day or lousiest clients. This beats retail therapy hands-down. After lunch, you walk back to the client's place with lighter footsteps because your colleagues' narrations of their own experiences made your client appear like an angel.*pui*
I dont feel that my pathetic pay justifies the amount of hours I have to clock, the amount of shit work I have to commit myself to completing, and the mental torture I have to subject myself to so ever reluctantly. I think it's time that I should seek greener pastures. Perhaps I should unleash the entrepreneur spirit in me and start a business on my own. Of course nothing too fanciful.. Maybe then you guys will read about me in newspaper next year having attain the entrepreneur of the year or something like that. Alright, I'm fantasizing again..
♥ -Dollicious-Sinner-