Wednesday, May 10, 2006 @5:20 AM
Today is my last day of school, "officially". That's provided if I dont dapao my 306. As my exam script was collected today, a wave of realisation hit me. I realised that this will be my last time in this examination hall. I could feel some tears stuck in my throat. I felt foolish, but that's me for you.. I'm just such a sentimental babe.. *sob*
Yesterday for the very first time throughout my NTU life, I cried the whole of the morning over an exam. I feel like the hard work wasnt worth it. I think i seriously lacked exams luck. Looking back on the 3 years in NTU, I realised that I was my happiest in Year 1. Though my results sucked, I was happy. Progressively, though my results improved by leaps and bounds, I became increasingly unhappy. I dont know why. Needless to say, this semester is the worst semester of my life, for very obvious reasons. Friendships broke up, hidden conflicts started to surface, tons of misunderstanding that wasnt really clarified and a warrented apology that never came my way. Despite the hard work thrown into doing FYP, the grade that I wanted so badly failed to present itself. And of course finally, the exams on Monday. This semester was a semester full of nightmares too. Just the other night, I dreamt that a family of 5 jumped to death right before my very eyes. Kailing told me I should go pray. I told her that there would be a furtile effort because my paresnt have placed an amulet at the head of my bed since a long time ago when I have nightmares as well, but the nightmares never go away. I always dream of people dying either of terminal illness or jumping to their deaths right before me (and it wasnt that one time).
Nonetheless, this semester wasnt without any goodness in it. I made more friends, I made some really good friends who were there for me, who consoled me when I was down and was just there to hear me bitch about life.
As my life in NTU comes to a close, I know I have definitely made some nice friends. You know who you are. Keep in touch people. And of course for some, see you when work starts. *wink*
♥ -Dollicious-Sinner-