Wednesday, December 29, 2004 @12:33 PM
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ZAN!! yesterday was zan's birthday. hehe, bought her a pair of earrings tt she had her eyes on.. but it's not the colour tt she wanted coz sold out le.. ya lor.. anyway, we went to kenny rogers to lunch together with manling and qiaoling. the atmosphere was nice but we didnt really say anything much. just very general talk. haha.. poor manling, mentioned tt tingle has been harrasing her with his scary tots. he got depression and it seems tt he has split peraonality as well. scary. hope he does not appear at man's doorstep one day. anyway, for those who dunno who is tingle, he's man's ex. ya. after lunch we just went to walk ard in suntec where man and qiaoling bought zan this nice-smelling moisturiser. the salesgirl was the damn hilarious lot. whoever comes into the shop and touches any product, she would announce the price of the product. machiam tt person cannot afford it sia. irritating but funny. haha.
next stop was at citylink. oh man. saw this pair of sandals i saw in JB the other day. but in diff colour. the worst thing is dun have my size!! sometimes i really hate my feet man. damn big size. looks like i dun have the luck of owing such a lovely pair of sandals. *sighz* man and qiaoling went off after tt. zan and me proceeded to HMV. bought 2 pairs of black tops. lovely lovely. haha. but damn man, was raining and we 2 were stuck. decided to go NYDC to while away our time waiting for the rain to stop. zan asked me if i wanted to be an air stewardess... of coz i wanted! tt has been my dream for the longest time. but i always tot tt my chances are suite slim coz i have this stupid scar on my leg. after pondering for a while, i feel tt being a model is not bad at all. i nv know if i'll be scouted by mediacorp. haha. i can then be the next zoe!! can just earn money by just selling my face and smile. haha. but these 2 are just short lived jobs. wun really end me anywhere thou i think the pay can be quite high. *sighz sighz sighz*
meeting dear for dinner at the coffeeshop near my house. but orchard there jam. told him i'll be late and asked him to eat dinner alone 1st since he's hungry. i was hoping tt he would not be angry, but it turned out tt he really was not angry, he was damn furious. ignored me for the whole of diiner. even when i hold his hands or hug him he didnt respond. tt really broke my heart. dunno wat i can do to appease him. but iunderstand y he felt angry lor. it's like he's hungry yet i made him come all the eay to my hse and he ended up having dinner alone. his coldness reminded me of how rudy used to treat me. it's something i dun ever want to go thru again. ever. could not help it, but i started to break down. all he said was stop crying. no hugs, no nothing. i feel like i was really alone, no one to stand on my side. this barrier started to appear in my heart. i wanted him far from me. i dun want him to be close to me again. i moved myself away from him. think dear start to feel sad seeing me like this and started to hug me. but i feel tt it's just too late. the shadows cant seem to leave me. i suggested a breakup. i dun ever want to go thru hell again. i was adament in my decision. it was the perfect solution. he said he wants his life and emotions to be stable. i dun think i can give him tt anyway. cant really wat happen, but we kissed and patch up and end of story. i hope tt dear wun ever be cold towards me again. i dun want to go thru such pure torture anymore. anyway, i guess i owe him an apology. -sorry dear-
♥ -Dollicious-Sinner-